This shall be an overdue post.

I think I write best when I'm feeling strong emotions about something. It almost feels like the words pour out from my very soul when that happens. There really isn't anything quite like it. I just keep on going cos I know if I even stopped for a while, the feeling would be gone. There's a certain adrenaline rush to it. I used to remember once upon a long time ago, I wrote cos I was very sad about something, and my emotions were so strong, I wrote and wrote till I stopped crying. I guess that's my way of dealing with my issues?

I don't just run when I have a problem, as you probably think I do. I write too.

Anyway, this entry is a week late. I could come up with reasons for it being so, cos I'm "reasonable" like that, but that would just be that. Reason after reason after reason. At some point, even I get sick of coming up with reasons, despite the fact that those reasons may be justified. Moreover, now that you always point out my uncanny ability to give a reason to everything, I keep myself in check before I say something. I don't really know where I am headed with this, but for the most part, I'm writing this perhaps cos of yesterday's phone call. It was cold, to say the least.

I'm still surprised how I can manage to upset you by the littlest of things. Like watching a movie I said I won't watch. It seems like it didn't matter that I had no say in deciding what movie to watch since everybody else over there was eager to watch it. It wasn't an appropriate time nor place to be a wet blanket. It also didn't matter that I was half asleep when the show started, hence technically, I didn't really watch the movie. But of course, that's just my reason. Which at this point, doesn't count for very much, if at all.

So what else can I say? I apologised, and I respected that you probably need time to "detach" yourself from being upset. I left it at that. Then just now, when I thought about this whole situation again, I wondered...you feel unfairly treated (I read your fb message) and that I was being hypocritical or whatever. I'm so tempted to defend myself and say that you were being unfair to me too, that I can't be blamed for the majority's decision, that I eventually chose sleep over watching the show, and that a reasonable person would not make a mountain out of a mole's hill.

Would you have seen the situation from my point of view then?